If Pastors handled everything the way they wanted to at times there would be a lot of fire from heaven come down! But its also about grace and mercy and forgiveness. Pastors I believe, are given a few more gifts to utilize, now it's up to us to utilize them properly! We have to completely follow God's word whenever we are dealing with any situation or person!
The whole idea is reconciliation, but then there comes that time we have to discern when it's time to move on and remember we can change no one! That is when our faith needs to kick in and pray God's intervention! Pastor's cannot do all or fix all or change all, but we have a Savior who is able and willing to do all! We need, as Paul spoke to Timothy, to be instant in season and out, be ready to roll always!
2 Timothy 4:1-2 King James Version (KJV)
1 I charge thee therefore before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, who shall judge the quick and the dead at his appearing and his kingdom;
2 Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long suffering and doctrine.
We have to be willing to turn people around, but it is by example not only word! Pastor's also have to remember, their way or God's way and that's who we measure our way against, God's!
We have been given a ministry of reconciliation not an ministry of fear and and intimidation!
2 Corinthians 5:16-19 (ESV)
16 From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. 17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 18 All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; 19 that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation.
Yes we need to hold Christians accountable if we truly love them we will, yet we are accountable for our actions also and we as Pastor's need to remember that. (Matthew 18, James 3:1, Galatians 6:1-5, and many more)
So as Pastor's, yes we have a burden to bear, yes at times it can be tough and we can get in the flesh. But we need to remember always the old cliche, What Would Jesus Do in any situation we find ourselves? If we truly stop a bit give it to Him, we will see a very different perspective than our own most times! I like this quote from Max Lucado “Faith is not the belief that God will do what you want. It is the belief that God will do what is right.” He Still Moves Stones
It is not about what we want, it is all about what God wants, and we as Pastors need to know the difference!