Have you ever heard anyone say, we never argue? My response is most always Hmmmmmm!
Did you know people argue in different ways? Loudly, quietly, silently, in different rooms avoidance, short and sweet, all these different ways, but it is still arguing! Silence is no less arguing then if you get loud, it is just a different way!
Sometimes it takes what it takes to see a different point of view, and a good healthy disagreement helps sometimes, people just need to be honest! Getting physical is not arguing, it is abusing there is a big difference between the two and couples need to learn which one to walk away from quickest!
Tragically they do not in most cases. A couple of reasons, 1. No place to go. 2. But I love him or her. 3. People will judge. 4. I am in control. 5. I am not leaving my home. 6. He or she only does it once in a while. 7. He or she did not mean to hit. 8. It is always someone else's fault. 8. I or we don't want anyone in our business. 9. I or we do not want the neighbors to find out. 10. Always an excuse for bad behavior.
These are just a few, I am sure there are tons more reasons people will not take a break for one another. But the important thing here is this, you need to know the difference and when it's time to take a break from each other! Notice I said break from each other? Taking a break gives you both time to breathe and think a bit more clearly.
And decide the next and best route to follow to work on a potentially dangerous situation if not headed off soon. If admittance is not made that there is anger issues, that is a cause for warning and concern. Abuse will not stop until honesty prevails and help is sought! But if one or both parties involved will not cooperate, get the proper help, do the work involved in healing the problem, it will just worsen!
There is always help out there, it just takes a humble heart to admit the problem and seek the help! Sometimes it takes time apart to get to this point. Friends and close family may not be the best place to turn. Your Pastor, if you have one may be helpful, yet you may need to turn to agencies outside your circle.
This is alright and most probably the best thing to do. Never put it off hoping it won't happen again, if it has been more than once, that is one to many you need to seek help! It is fixable if the right help is sought after, and the person involved truly wants to be helped! Always remember this warning, arguing is one thing, getting physical is completely different and a warning sign to a much deeper problem!
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Friday, May 23, 2014
There are certain words that should not be used too often, love is one! It is a word said more and acted upon less, than any word we use! Hate is also one of those words, it is said more and acted upon way to often! Racism is one of those words least understood, and used more often than necessary!
Understanding is a word that should be used more and no ones takes the time to! We use words like, know, but we really don't. The word think, should be thought on more, and the word excuse, thought on less! When Jesus used the word love, He was preparing to die for us, action! John taught on the word hate, he said it kills!
Though Racism is not mentioned in Scripture, Jesus said we are to love our neighbors as ourselves! When lacking understanding it means we struggle more! I could certainly go on, but most folks truly do not want to hear any word that may challenge them to change, or even desire change!
Change means, we could be wrong in our perception or understanding of any word. We could be using in the wrong context of it's meaning! We need to research some of the words we so freely throw around to get our point across!
And if our actions don't speak louder than these words we use, we need to speak these words less and act on them more! Love heals, hate kills, racism divides, understanding sees. John 3:16, 1 John 3:15, Matthew 22:37-40, Ephesians 4:18